


somewhere i have never traveled

by darth_stitch



Series: Two Boys from Brooklyn [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky Bear - Freeform, Drama, Feels, M/M, Pre-Slash, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-21
Packaged: 2018-01-25 23:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1667129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers is seven years old and they say he’s dying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	somewhere i have never traveled

Steve Rogers is seven years old and they say he’s dying.   
  
Father Ryan’s come to give him Last Rites and his Mom’s eyes are red-rimmed from crying.  He wants to tell her he’s gonna be all right but he’s so tired and everything hurts, even just to take in a breath.  Briefly, he wonders what heaven will be like and if he’ll finally meet the father he’d never known, who had died in the trenches of war.    
  
Later on, Bucky slips in to his room, like a ghost or a _vampir_ in his Grampy’s stories.  Bucky doesn’t say much but he gives Steve his most prized possession - his favorite toy.  He tucks the soft teddy bear into the blankets next to Steve.  Bucky has been spending every bit of his free time with Steve since the younger boy got sick, helping his Mom, watching him as if Steve would slip away the moment Bucky’s attention was diverted.   
  
That night, Bucky had not wanted to go home.  His own Grampy had to come pick him up and carry him away, kicking and screaming.    
  
"He’s gonna keep an eye on you when I can’t," Bucky whispers to Steve.  "Don’t you be going anywhere without me, okay, Stevie?"   
  
Stevie’s hands curl weakly around the bear - Bucky’s bear - and he whispers a “yes.”   
  
Steve is still there the next morning.  And the morning after that and the next one.  He gets better and it’s a miracle and Bucky’s bear - Bucky Bear is his name now - sits on Steve’s bed and keeps him company when the boy Bucky isn’t.  And that’s how things are until the boys are older and well-loved toys are now simply good memories. 

* * *

  
  
Steve Rogers is twenty years old and they say he’s dying.    
  
Winters are never kind to him.  He and Bucky do their best to make ends meet, make sure that they can eat and don’t freeze to death when it’s cold.   Bucky never hesitates when it comes to Steve, working long hours at the docks and taking on extra jobs if it meant that they could get the additional cash.  Steve hates feeling that he’s not pulling his own weight but Bucky won’t hear about it.  They’re more than just friends now, they’re _family._   
  
And if sometimes, Steve wishes that there could be _more_ and if sometimes, he thinks Bucky might be thinking the same, well, he chalks the first up to a fool’s hope and the second to an overactive imagination.  What they have now, that’s more than enough for him.    
  
He’s hurting all over and cold and his chest aches and sometimes, he wonders grimly, if it’s not better to give in and leave this frail body behind.    
  
But it’s Bucky who slips into bed behind him, curls his big warm body around Steve’s smaller frame, holds him close.  It’s Bucky who whispers, _"Don’t you leave me.  Don’t you goddamn leave me, Steve Rogers.  You fight this, punk.  You fight this, and live through it, or I’m gonna come after you to the other side, swear to God.”_  
  
Steve’s hands curl weakly around Bucky’s, twining their fingers together and he whispers back a “yes.”

* * *

  
  
Steven Rogers is twenty-five years old and he’s dying.    
  
He’s Captain America now and Dr. Erskine’s serum has rebuilt his weak, frail body.  He won’t need to fear any winter again. He’s stronger and faster and better and he’s led his men to victory after victory.    
  
He’s led Bucky to his death.    
  
He’s as good as dead inside.    
  
Peggy tries, God bless her.  She tries to lead him back the way Bucky had always done.  She sees Steve the way Bucky always has, seen behind the super-serum enhanced body and the ridiculous comic book heroics.  She tells him that it was Bucky’s choice, that it’s not Steve’s fault.  She holds his hands, tries to rub away the cold that’s settled into his heart and his blood.    
  
But he can’t really return that touch, kind and loving as it is, can’t say “Yes” the way he’s always done for the man who’d always been the center of his world.    
  
There’s the mission, the last one, where they are meant to cut off the last of HYDRA’s heads, salt and burn it to ensure that it won’t return.  Steve’s on the plane that’s meant to bring HYDRA’s weapons on American soil and he’s not letting that happen.  He’s not going to let them win.   
  
He’s making his choice, just like Bucky did.    
  
He makes his farewells to Peggy, promises her their dance.  He’s oddly calm and maybe, just maybe a little hopeful.  Because he remembers a plush bear and a voice in his ear and arms around his body.  And maybe he hasn’t imagined countless kisses pressed against his hair, just when he’s in that space between asleep and awake, a quiet admission of love which he’s never meant to hear.    
  
Maybe he’ll get to hear that now.  Maybe he’ll finally _know._   
  
_I’m coming over to the other side now,_ _Buck_ , he thinks.    
  
Yes.    
  
_\- end -_

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in the same universe as the Count Buckula stories so, don't be too sad. The boys will be getting reunited and their happy ending.


End file.
